1 00:00:04,805 --> 00:00:07,175 [sirens wailing] 2 00:00:10,711 --> 00:00:11,579 Mom. 3 00:00:11,679 --> 00:00:13,647 Mom. 4 00:00:13,747 --> 00:00:14,548 Oh. 5 00:00:17,585 --> 00:00:18,952 My painting. 6 00:00:22,356 --> 00:00:23,591 Where's dad? 7 00:00:23,691 --> 00:00:24,758 He's still being questioned. 8 00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:26,294 Are they going to arrest him? 9 00:00:26,394 --> 00:00:29,163 I don't know. 10 00:00:29,263 --> 00:00:31,532 SERGEANT: Full name. 11 00:00:31,632 --> 00:00:33,901 Bellow, Benjamin. 12 00:00:34,001 --> 00:00:36,036 Your first name is Bellow? 13 00:00:36,137 --> 00:00:38,372 Bellow, comma, Benjamin. 14 00:00:38,472 --> 00:00:40,941 Judge Bellow? 15 00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:42,343 There is an explanation. 16 00:00:42,443 --> 00:00:43,977 Yeah. 17 00:00:44,078 --> 00:00:46,380 I can't wait to hear it. 18 00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:50,651 It all started with that damn painting. 19 00:00:50,751 --> 00:00:55,289 We didn't ask for it to come into our lives, but it did. 20 00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:59,026 Ever since Jessie married Tom, I've wanted to do this for you. 21 00:01:02,796 --> 00:01:03,597 Why do I have a beard? 22 00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:10,204 It's so huge. 23 00:01:10,304 --> 00:01:13,107 I know. 24 00:01:13,207 --> 00:01:14,942 What do we do? 25 00:01:15,042 --> 00:01:16,710 We burn it. 26 00:01:16,810 --> 00:01:18,379 But it's in our house. 27 00:01:18,479 --> 00:01:22,150 Then we burn down the house. 28 00:01:22,250 --> 00:01:23,751 BEN (VOICEOVER): But sometimes, the only thing 29 00:01:23,851 --> 00:01:25,653 to do when fate drop-kicks you in the nuts 30 00:01:25,753 --> 00:01:27,521 is to take it like a man. 31 00:01:27,621 --> 00:01:31,058 So what do you think? 32 00:01:34,128 --> 00:01:35,929 Oh, we love it. 33 00:01:40,801 --> 00:01:43,571 [THEME - HAWKSLEY WORKMAN AND DOLLY, "YES I DO"] 34 00:01:43,671 --> 00:01:48,776 THEME MUSIC: Can we find a way that can be together? 35 00:01:48,876 --> 00:01:53,681 Is there any way that we can be together? 36 00:01:53,781 --> 00:01:57,585 And oh, by the way, baby, do you love me? 37 00:01:57,685 --> 00:01:59,052 Yes I do. 38 00:01:59,153 --> 00:02:00,053 Yes I do. 39 00:02:00,154 --> 00:02:02,490 Yes I do. 40 00:02:02,590 --> 00:02:03,957 Yes I do. 41 00:02:11,899 --> 00:02:14,435 BEN (VOICEOVER): We devised a plan to deal with the portrait. 42 00:02:14,535 --> 00:02:15,536 And at first, it worked. 43 00:02:15,636 --> 00:02:16,437 [doorbell ringing] 44 00:02:16,537 --> 00:02:17,505 We have company. 45 00:02:23,877 --> 00:02:26,247 I'll be right there. 46 00:02:26,347 --> 00:02:27,215 TARA: Hey. 47 00:02:27,315 --> 00:02:29,717 JUDITH: Hi. 48 00:02:29,817 --> 00:02:31,285 Oh, Tara, hi. 49 00:02:31,385 --> 00:02:35,323 Just came to borrow some sugar. 50 00:02:35,423 --> 00:02:37,425 BEN (VOICEOVER): But after one too many close calls, 51 00:02:37,525 --> 00:02:38,526 we couldn't take it. 52 00:02:38,626 --> 00:02:39,660 Something had to be done. 53 00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:42,663 If not for us, for the family. 54 00:02:42,763 --> 00:02:45,266 I'm just saying it's not like Bugs is anatomically correct. 55 00:02:45,366 --> 00:02:46,767 So how do we really know he's a guy? 56 00:02:46,867 --> 00:02:50,170 All cartoon animals are by default male, you know, 57 00:02:50,271 --> 00:02:51,138 unless they sex them up. 58 00:02:51,239 --> 00:02:53,407 Big eyelashes, bow in the hair. 59 00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:55,343 So who's the sexiest cartoon animal? 60 00:02:55,443 --> 00:02:56,444 Oh, Petunia Pig. 61 00:02:56,544 --> 00:02:57,811 Porky's girlfriend? 62 00:02:57,911 --> 00:03:01,982 Yeah, short skirt, no underwear. 63 00:03:02,082 --> 00:03:05,353 So that time we made our movie, 64 00:03:05,453 --> 00:03:07,921 you suggested I wear the hair bow and that short skirt. 65 00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:10,123 Yeah, I mean, it had nothing to do with Petunia. 66 00:03:10,224 --> 00:03:12,293 There was a barnyard theme. 67 00:03:12,393 --> 00:03:13,727 And you called me Petunia! 68 00:03:13,827 --> 00:03:15,028 Coincidence! 69 00:03:15,128 --> 00:03:16,063 Have a look for yourself. 70 00:03:16,163 --> 00:03:17,064 You look nothing like her. 71 00:03:17,164 --> 00:03:20,468 That disk was destroyed. 72 00:03:20,568 --> 00:03:23,971 Tom, I told you to banish that thing to the land of never was. 73 00:03:24,071 --> 00:03:26,006 I thought you meant, the land of never show it to me again, 74 00:03:26,106 --> 00:03:27,875 but you can keep it for yourself, honey. 75 00:03:27,975 --> 00:03:29,443 Please, not the face 76 00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:31,144 This is the part where you find that disk, 77 00:03:31,245 --> 00:03:32,280 and you destroy it in front of me. 78 00:03:32,380 --> 00:03:34,014 Or this is the only face you'll be seeing. 79 00:03:34,114 --> 00:03:35,483 [viola screeching] 80 00:03:35,583 --> 00:03:37,818 Ugh, she's still at it? 81 00:03:37,918 --> 00:03:39,119 Afraid so. 82 00:03:44,024 --> 00:03:46,427 BEN (VOICEOVER): We never mentioned the painting. 83 00:03:46,527 --> 00:03:47,761 But we felt it. 84 00:03:47,861 --> 00:03:49,297 Something foul was in the air. 85 00:04:01,942 --> 00:04:04,845 What on earth are you smoking? 86 00:04:04,945 --> 00:04:05,746 A cigar. 87 00:04:05,846 --> 00:04:06,847 Capitulos, actually. 88 00:04:06,947 --> 00:04:08,649 Got a whole box for 500 bucks. 89 00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:12,620 Ben, you know how I feel about cigars in the house. 90 00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:16,757 You know I feel about your viola ambitions. 91 00:04:16,857 --> 00:04:18,258 [coughing] 92 00:04:18,359 --> 00:04:19,360 So that's how it's going to be? 93 00:04:19,460 --> 00:04:22,195 That's how it's going to be. 94 00:04:22,296 --> 00:04:24,532 What happened to us, Ben? 95 00:04:24,632 --> 00:04:27,768 We've been at each other for days. 96 00:04:27,868 --> 00:04:30,738 That portrait is what happened. 97 00:04:30,838 --> 00:04:32,773 I'll paint your whole family, says she. 98 00:04:32,873 --> 00:04:34,542 Oh, that'd be lovely, says you. 99 00:04:34,642 --> 00:04:36,844 Let's hang it in the living room, says she. 100 00:04:36,944 --> 00:04:37,745 Why not? 101 00:04:37,845 --> 00:04:38,946 Says you. 102 00:04:39,046 --> 00:04:40,614 What was I supposed to do, suggest the basement? 103 00:04:40,714 --> 00:04:42,750 We could have hung it in your study. 104 00:04:42,850 --> 00:04:44,452 I'd as soon have hung myself. 105 00:04:44,552 --> 00:04:46,420 I'll get the rope 106 00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:48,622 BEN (VOICEOVER): The stench was spreading. 107 00:04:48,722 --> 00:04:51,058 Everyone was on edge, even my son. 108 00:04:51,158 --> 00:04:53,126 It was right here. 109 00:04:53,226 --> 00:04:55,028 You kept that thing in open view? 110 00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:55,929 Well, no. 111 00:04:56,029 --> 00:04:59,132 I hit it in stupid game. 112 00:04:59,232 --> 00:05:01,635 Golftastic. 113 00:05:01,735 --> 00:05:03,904 I give that to your dad. 114 00:05:04,004 --> 00:05:06,206 I thought it might help his golf swing. 115 00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:07,274 Tom, stop! 116 00:05:07,375 --> 00:05:08,175 What? 117 00:05:08,275 --> 00:05:10,978 You're naked. 118 00:05:11,078 --> 00:05:13,213 And? 119 00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:15,248 We could spill paint on it. 120 00:05:15,349 --> 00:05:16,249 Accidentally, of course. 121 00:05:16,350 --> 00:05:17,818 I think that's what Tara did. 122 00:05:17,918 --> 00:05:19,252 Why don't we just tell her the truth? 123 00:05:19,353 --> 00:05:22,289 Every time Wendy sees it, she cries and wets herself. 124 00:05:22,390 --> 00:05:23,156 Huh? 125 00:05:27,127 --> 00:05:28,429 I'll tell you. 126 00:05:28,529 --> 00:05:30,464 This is only a problem as long as Tom and Jessie are married. 127 00:05:30,564 --> 00:05:33,200 If we were to covertly undermine their marriage-- 128 00:05:33,300 --> 00:05:35,235 Be serious. 129 00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:36,770 Show me a downside on that one. 130 00:05:40,541 --> 00:05:42,510 I have an idea. 131 00:05:42,610 --> 00:05:45,679 But it might go against the values that make us who we are. 132 00:05:45,779 --> 00:05:48,749 And it might be illegal. 133 00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:51,118 Well I'm an officer of the court, Judith. 134 00:05:51,218 --> 00:05:53,487 I'm bound by the law. 135 00:05:53,587 --> 00:05:54,822 SERGEANT: You really said that? 136 00:05:54,922 --> 00:05:55,789 Verbatim. 137 00:05:55,889 --> 00:05:56,757 And I meant it. 138 00:05:56,857 --> 00:05:58,258 But a crime was committed. 139 00:05:58,358 --> 00:06:00,394 It wasn't our intent. 140 00:06:00,494 --> 00:06:01,629 But I'm getting to that. 141 00:06:01,729 --> 00:06:03,731 I can't look at that thing for the next 35 years! 142 00:06:03,831 --> 00:06:04,898 It's just a stupid painting. 143 00:06:04,998 --> 00:06:06,166 Why can't you get used to it? 144 00:06:06,266 --> 00:06:07,935 - We'll have to move from here. - For the love of God. 145 00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:09,136 No. No. 146 00:06:09,236 --> 00:06:10,203 BEN (VOICEOVER): We debated. 147 00:06:10,303 --> 00:06:11,772 I was adamant, but she kept at me. 148 00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:14,908 And deep down, I knew it was our best shot. 149 00:06:15,008 --> 00:06:16,510 We're really going to do this, aren't we? 150 00:06:19,312 --> 00:06:21,649 BEN (VOICEOVER): The plan was simple. 151 00:06:21,749 --> 00:06:23,617 We would stage a minor break in that would 152 00:06:23,717 --> 00:06:25,619 appear real to Tara and Phil. 153 00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:27,855 And then we take not only the painting, but also 154 00:06:27,955 --> 00:06:30,524 a few other items of value. 155 00:06:30,624 --> 00:06:33,260 The stolen items would be taken to the basement, 156 00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:37,498 and hidden in the furnace room temporarily. 157 00:06:37,598 --> 00:06:40,901 We would create signs of forced entry. 158 00:06:41,001 --> 00:06:42,970 Judith would then drive me to work, 159 00:06:43,070 --> 00:06:48,375 return a short while later, and discover the break in. 160 00:06:48,476 --> 00:06:49,877 [gasping] 161 00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:55,749 Naturally, she'd have to inform Tara of this unfortunate crime. 162 00:07:01,689 --> 00:07:04,091 Tears would be shed, and the matter would be put to rest. 163 00:07:07,961 --> 00:07:09,497 Later that night, the stolen items 164 00:07:09,597 --> 00:07:11,799 would be driven to my office. 165 00:07:11,899 --> 00:07:13,967 And the painting, of course, would be destroyed. 166 00:07:21,742 --> 00:07:23,410 At least, that was the plan. 167 00:07:23,511 --> 00:07:25,746 Didn't work? 168 00:07:25,846 --> 00:07:27,047 Yeah. 169 00:07:27,147 --> 00:07:29,416 Everything worked perfectly, we all got off scot-free. 170 00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:33,887 Do you have children, Sergeant? 171 00:07:38,258 --> 00:07:39,159 Tom! 172 00:07:39,259 --> 00:07:40,494 You're supposed to be at work. 173 00:07:40,594 --> 00:07:41,795 You're supposed to be in class. 174 00:07:41,895 --> 00:07:45,866 I'm just, uh, looking for something. 175 00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:50,170 What are you doing? - Oh we're, um, redecorating. 176 00:07:50,270 --> 00:07:53,907 What are you looking for? - Nothing, nothing important. 177 00:07:54,007 --> 00:07:55,342 BEN (VOICEOVER): Clearly, we'd have to wait 178 00:07:55,442 --> 00:07:56,577 until everyone was gone. 179 00:07:56,677 --> 00:07:57,878 We didn't want to corrupt the innocent. 180 00:07:57,978 --> 00:07:59,446 Did you get our sex tape? 181 00:07:59,547 --> 00:08:00,480 Mm-mm. 182 00:08:00,581 --> 00:08:02,315 You could have just asked him for it. 183 00:08:02,415 --> 00:08:04,051 What if he'd already seen it? 184 00:08:04,151 --> 00:08:05,318 Then he'd know why I was asking. 185 00:08:05,418 --> 00:08:07,187 And then he'd arch one eyebrow, and I 186 00:08:07,287 --> 00:08:09,957 would know that he'd know, and he would know that I knew. 187 00:08:10,057 --> 00:08:11,324 And then I'd have to go upstairs and take 188 00:08:11,424 --> 00:08:12,392 a bath with the toaster. 189 00:08:15,095 --> 00:08:15,896 Don't worry. 190 00:08:15,996 --> 00:08:17,731 I will find it. 191 00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:19,466 Just wait until they leave. 192 00:08:23,537 --> 00:08:24,337 OK. 193 00:08:24,437 --> 00:08:27,575 Let's do this. 194 00:08:27,675 --> 00:08:29,476 [upbeat music] 195 00:08:32,946 --> 00:08:33,781 Ben! 196 00:08:33,881 --> 00:08:35,983 What? 197 00:08:36,083 --> 00:08:36,917 Oh, right. 198 00:08:42,656 --> 00:08:43,991 Wow. 199 00:08:44,091 --> 00:08:45,025 OK, that's done. 200 00:08:45,125 --> 00:08:46,026 Yeah. 201 00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:53,166 What happened here? 202 00:08:53,266 --> 00:08:54,134 What are you doing home? 203 00:08:54,234 --> 00:08:55,368 Class got canceled. 204 00:08:55,468 --> 00:08:56,904 Kitchen fire. 205 00:08:57,004 --> 00:08:58,538 Paper boy off the wagon again? 206 00:08:58,639 --> 00:08:59,673 No, we had to break in. 207 00:08:59,773 --> 00:09:00,574 Yeah. 208 00:09:00,674 --> 00:09:01,474 Yeah. 209 00:09:01,575 --> 00:09:03,110 Took the TV, the DVD player. 210 00:09:03,210 --> 00:09:05,145 And Tara's painting, look. 211 00:09:05,245 --> 00:09:06,546 Who would want to steal that? 212 00:09:06,647 --> 00:09:08,849 Oh, who knows what goes on with these druggies. 213 00:09:08,949 --> 00:09:10,283 They took the games, too! 214 00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:11,852 BEN: Yeah, We're all suffering, here. 215 00:09:11,952 --> 00:09:13,721 Well, we can't let them get away with this. 216 00:09:13,821 --> 00:09:14,788 You know how it is. 217 00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:16,323 By now, the TV's been broken into parts, 218 00:09:16,423 --> 00:09:18,592 turned into computer monitors and blenders. 219 00:09:18,692 --> 00:09:20,227 And the portrait is-- it's probably 220 00:09:20,327 --> 00:09:22,029 halfway to Abu Dhabi by now. 221 00:09:22,129 --> 00:09:22,930 Halfway already? 222 00:09:23,030 --> 00:09:23,964 I mean, didn't this just happen? 223 00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:25,465 Yeah, we should count ourselves lucky 224 00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:26,634 we only have a few things stolen. 225 00:09:29,603 --> 00:09:31,371 BEN (VOICEOVER): And then, the plan 226 00:09:31,471 --> 00:09:33,607 began to go horribly wrong. 227 00:09:33,707 --> 00:09:35,575 That's right, yeah, a break in. 228 00:09:35,676 --> 00:09:37,177 67 Henderson Avenue. 229 00:09:37,277 --> 00:09:38,178 Hurry up, it just happened. 230 00:09:42,149 --> 00:09:45,152 The Police are on their way. 231 00:09:45,252 --> 00:09:46,319 Good. 232 00:09:46,419 --> 00:09:47,187 Well done. 233 00:09:47,287 --> 00:09:50,157 Mm-hmm. 234 00:09:50,257 --> 00:09:53,093 [sirens wailing] 235 00:10:03,036 --> 00:10:06,473 So you never wanted us to show up? 236 00:10:06,573 --> 00:10:07,607 Well no, of course not. 237 00:10:07,708 --> 00:10:09,576 That would have meant filing a false report. 238 00:10:09,677 --> 00:10:12,946 Anathema to a fellow soldier in justice. 239 00:10:13,046 --> 00:10:14,547 Fellow soldier? 240 00:10:14,648 --> 00:10:16,283 You ever been tasered, Judge Bellow? 241 00:10:19,052 --> 00:10:22,489 It should have been so neat, so tidy. 242 00:10:22,589 --> 00:10:24,491 But my son got all bent out of shape 243 00:10:24,591 --> 00:10:26,860 over some stupid video game. 244 00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:29,496 It seems every plan has its wrinkles. 245 00:10:29,596 --> 00:10:31,031 Did you recover any of the stolen property? 246 00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:32,800 Not yet. 247 00:10:32,900 --> 00:10:34,902 You going to dust for prints? 248 00:10:35,002 --> 00:10:38,371 Hey, do I go down to the mall and tell you how to loiter? 249 00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:40,107 Is everything all right? 250 00:10:40,207 --> 00:10:41,274 We saw the police car. 251 00:10:41,374 --> 00:10:44,011 Oh, Tara, it's terrible. 252 00:10:46,714 --> 00:10:49,850 Why would somebody steal my painting? 253 00:10:49,950 --> 00:10:52,786 Well, who knows what goes on with these drug-addled punks. 254 00:10:52,886 --> 00:10:55,823 No, Ben, these people were pros. 255 00:10:55,923 --> 00:10:57,524 They took all of our big ticket items. 256 00:10:57,624 --> 00:10:59,559 Clearly they knew what was valuable. 257 00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:00,761 Sure, yeah. 258 00:11:00,861 --> 00:11:01,929 They had one look at that, and knew 259 00:11:02,029 --> 00:11:03,096 they could make a mint off it. 260 00:11:03,196 --> 00:11:05,432 I mean, your choice of colors. 261 00:11:05,532 --> 00:11:06,734 Your brush strokes. 262 00:11:06,834 --> 00:11:10,203 You must know that you have a gift. 263 00:11:10,303 --> 00:11:11,138 You really think so? 264 00:11:11,238 --> 00:11:13,473 Oh, absolutely. 265 00:11:13,573 --> 00:11:14,374 Mm-hmm. 266 00:11:14,474 --> 00:11:15,809 Ben. 267 00:11:15,909 --> 00:11:18,678 Kitchen. 268 00:11:18,779 --> 00:11:19,780 That really hurt. 269 00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:21,414 The idea is to assuage her. 270 00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:23,851 Not insult her. 271 00:11:23,951 --> 00:11:25,518 Keep it together, or we're going to get caught. 272 00:11:29,422 --> 00:11:31,158 So, do you have a list of missing items? 273 00:11:31,258 --> 00:11:32,760 Well, the television, naturally. 274 00:11:32,860 --> 00:11:34,161 And the DVD player. 275 00:11:34,261 --> 00:11:37,765 They also stole a box of Capitulo cigars. 276 00:11:37,865 --> 00:11:39,166 I think you're mistaken, there, Judith. 277 00:11:39,266 --> 00:11:40,067 Nope, I checked. 278 00:11:40,167 --> 00:11:41,468 Gone, I'm afraid. 279 00:11:41,568 --> 00:11:42,469 OFFICER: Was that it? 280 00:11:42,569 --> 00:11:44,237 Well some games were stolen, too. 281 00:11:44,337 --> 00:11:45,505 There was one especially important. 282 00:11:45,605 --> 00:11:46,406 Golftastic. 283 00:11:46,506 --> 00:11:47,340 You hate golf. 284 00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:48,508 It's mine. 285 00:11:48,608 --> 00:11:49,709 And I want it back. 286 00:11:49,810 --> 00:11:52,179 I have to work on my backhand. 287 00:11:52,279 --> 00:11:53,380 Backswing. 288 00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:54,347 Yeah. 289 00:11:54,447 --> 00:11:55,682 Wait, the golf game? 290 00:11:55,783 --> 00:11:58,018 No, I think Wendy took that to her sleepover at Pam's. 291 00:12:04,357 --> 00:12:05,325 So, is that it? 292 00:12:05,425 --> 00:12:06,226 No. 293 00:12:06,326 --> 00:12:07,627 They also stole a viola. 294 00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:08,528 What? 295 00:12:08,628 --> 00:12:09,662 Gone, I'm afraid. 296 00:12:09,763 --> 00:12:10,563 Viola. 297 00:12:10,663 --> 00:12:16,336 V-I-O-L-A. 298 00:12:16,436 --> 00:12:17,404 TOM: I think this is the place. 299 00:12:17,504 --> 00:12:20,340 JESSIE: Shh. 300 00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:21,308 Hey guys! 301 00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:22,642 JESSIE: Is that it? - Look at that. 302 00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:23,543 JESSIE: Oh my god. 303 00:12:23,643 --> 00:12:24,444 She's got it. 304 00:12:24,544 --> 00:12:25,779 She's got our game. 305 00:12:25,879 --> 00:12:27,747 [rock music] 306 00:12:35,188 --> 00:12:37,557 [screaming] 307 00:12:37,657 --> 00:12:38,525 Hello. 308 00:12:38,625 --> 00:12:39,827 Hi. 309 00:12:39,927 --> 00:12:42,930 The best defense against these thieves is vigilance. 310 00:12:43,030 --> 00:12:43,897 Yes, yes. 311 00:12:43,997 --> 00:12:44,865 I want to be vigilante. 312 00:12:44,965 --> 00:12:46,666 No, not vigilante. 313 00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:47,567 Vigilance. 314 00:12:47,667 --> 00:12:49,102 You say tomato. 315 00:12:49,202 --> 00:12:50,904 I say, kill the bastard! 316 00:12:51,004 --> 00:12:51,839 Kill the bastard! 317 00:12:51,939 --> 00:12:54,074 Oh Judith, this is just horrible. 318 00:12:54,174 --> 00:12:57,044 I am so sorry. 319 00:12:57,144 --> 00:12:59,179 Tara. 320 00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:01,048 I am so sorry. 321 00:13:01,148 --> 00:13:03,917 TARA: If there is anything, anything at all, that I 322 00:13:04,017 --> 00:13:06,653 can do for you, just ask. 323 00:13:06,753 --> 00:13:07,587 JUDITH: Oh, I will. 324 00:13:07,687 --> 00:13:10,991 TARA: OK. 325 00:13:11,091 --> 00:13:12,559 It's interesting. 326 00:13:12,659 --> 00:13:14,995 wouldn't you think that, if thieves were breaking in, 327 00:13:15,095 --> 00:13:17,764 that the glass would spray inside the house? 328 00:13:17,865 --> 00:13:20,333 Well, you know, the physics of these things 329 00:13:20,433 --> 00:13:21,701 is difficult to predict, Phil. 330 00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:25,272 I mean, you know, the glass probably vibrates in and out. 331 00:13:25,372 --> 00:13:27,207 And then when it finally breaks, who knows where it goes, 332 00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:28,341 especially from that height. Right? 333 00:13:28,441 --> 00:13:31,311 Well, there's another thing. 334 00:13:31,411 --> 00:13:33,713 Wouldn't you think that thieves would break 335 00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:36,349 the lower window, instead of the cheaper, 336 00:13:36,449 --> 00:13:38,351 easy to replace pane up top? 337 00:13:38,451 --> 00:13:40,653 I don't know what goes on in the criminal mind, Phil. 338 00:13:40,753 --> 00:13:44,124 Aren't you a judge? 339 00:13:44,224 --> 00:13:47,394 BEN (VOICEOVER): The seams were unraveling. 340 00:13:47,494 --> 00:13:50,297 I had not factored in my oafish, but surprisingly tenacious, 341 00:13:50,397 --> 00:13:51,664 neighbor. 342 00:13:51,764 --> 00:13:54,501 I'm just curious, where were you guys when this happened? 343 00:13:54,601 --> 00:13:56,269 Judith was driving me to work. 344 00:13:56,369 --> 00:13:57,704 The car never left the driveway. 345 00:13:57,804 --> 00:13:58,705 Sure it did. 346 00:13:58,805 --> 00:14:00,240 You were just too sedated to notice. 347 00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:01,508 We were only gone minutes. 348 00:14:01,608 --> 00:14:03,476 Five, tops. 349 00:14:03,576 --> 00:14:06,013 So this was a professional operation, then? 350 00:14:06,113 --> 00:14:08,515 It certainly was. 351 00:14:08,615 --> 00:14:10,250 Uh, they must have been casing the joint, 352 00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:11,851 and-- and knew exactly what they wanted. 353 00:14:11,952 --> 00:14:14,221 And one of those things was Tara's painting? 354 00:14:14,321 --> 00:14:15,956 I guess so. 355 00:14:16,056 --> 00:14:18,325 And you didn't set the alarm? 356 00:14:18,425 --> 00:14:19,359 We forgot. 357 00:14:19,459 --> 00:14:20,593 Imagine that. 358 00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:22,062 The only time you forget to set the alarm, 359 00:14:22,162 --> 00:14:23,496 and there's a crack team of thieves waiting 360 00:14:23,596 --> 00:14:25,132 to pounce the moment you leave. 361 00:14:25,232 --> 00:14:27,034 - I know. - Whoa. 362 00:14:27,134 --> 00:14:28,368 Huh. 363 00:14:28,468 --> 00:14:30,403 I know. 364 00:14:30,503 --> 00:14:31,304 I am in the way. 365 00:14:31,404 --> 00:14:32,205 I'll just go. 366 00:14:32,305 --> 00:14:33,206 That's right. 367 00:14:36,343 --> 00:14:37,144 He knows. 368 00:14:37,244 --> 00:14:38,946 I know. 369 00:14:39,046 --> 00:14:41,414 I found the Golftastic disk under the couch, 370 00:14:41,514 --> 00:14:42,682 so I put it where it belonged. 371 00:14:42,782 --> 00:14:44,551 Last time I do anything nice for you. 372 00:14:44,651 --> 00:14:45,852 And the first time. 373 00:14:45,953 --> 00:14:48,121 What'd you do with the disk that was inside the case? 374 00:14:48,221 --> 00:14:49,957 What's on the thing, anyways? 375 00:14:50,057 --> 00:14:52,592 Bootleg Petunia Pig cartoons. 376 00:14:52,692 --> 00:14:54,827 You're sick. 377 00:14:54,928 --> 00:14:56,329 Bootlegs are against the law. 378 00:14:56,429 --> 00:14:57,931 The disk, Wendy. 379 00:14:58,031 --> 00:14:59,566 I put it in one of mom's lame DVDs. 380 00:14:59,666 --> 00:15:00,667 Which one? 381 00:15:00,767 --> 00:15:03,703 - "On Golden Pond." - OK. 382 00:15:03,803 --> 00:15:05,138 That's good. 383 00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:06,039 Where is it? 384 00:15:06,139 --> 00:15:08,441 I sold it to the serial killer. 385 00:15:08,541 --> 00:15:10,377 [ominous music] 386 00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:13,246 I'm not going to get it. 387 00:15:13,346 --> 00:15:15,748 Well I'm not going to get it. 388 00:15:19,319 --> 00:15:22,189 [screaming] 389 00:15:22,289 --> 00:15:23,490 Why would you do that? 390 00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:25,725 He's not actually a serial killer. 391 00:15:25,825 --> 00:15:26,893 He's a professional clown. 392 00:15:26,994 --> 00:15:29,762 That's even worse. 393 00:15:29,862 --> 00:15:34,401 I can't believe you guys are old enough to vote. 394 00:15:34,501 --> 00:15:36,503 Well, there's only one thing to do. 395 00:15:36,603 --> 00:15:38,638 We're not going to the serial killer alone. 396 00:15:38,738 --> 00:15:40,040 Oh, you're right. 397 00:15:40,140 --> 00:15:41,108 We need backup. 398 00:15:41,208 --> 00:15:42,442 THE REFUGEE: Neighborhood watch members 399 00:15:42,542 --> 00:15:45,112 may not possess weapons, or engage in racial profiling. 400 00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:52,485 [rock music] 401 00:16:03,396 --> 00:16:05,098 This is the perfect space. 402 00:16:05,198 --> 00:16:06,099 I like to think so. 403 00:16:06,199 --> 00:16:07,200 Yeah. 404 00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:10,170 I can put the paint cans over here, and stack 405 00:16:10,270 --> 00:16:12,539 the canvases over there. 406 00:16:12,639 --> 00:16:13,906 Why would you do that? 407 00:16:14,007 --> 00:16:15,842 Well, since I'll be painting again, 408 00:16:15,942 --> 00:16:17,810 I'm going to need a proper workspace. 409 00:16:17,910 --> 00:16:19,612 And if the fumes get too much, I can just 410 00:16:19,712 --> 00:16:21,481 swing open the garage door. 411 00:16:21,581 --> 00:16:24,284 And it's already got a built in alarm system. 412 00:16:24,384 --> 00:16:26,653 I mean, it's made for me. 413 00:16:26,753 --> 00:16:30,390 Oh Phil, I am so excited. 414 00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:32,159 I'm going to be painting again. 415 00:16:32,259 --> 00:16:33,093 I'm so happy. 416 00:16:37,430 --> 00:16:39,266 Ugh. 417 00:16:39,366 --> 00:16:40,867 What do you want, Phil? 418 00:16:40,967 --> 00:16:43,736 I know this robbery was a ruse so you could rid yourselves 419 00:16:43,836 --> 00:16:45,004 of my wife's painting. 420 00:16:45,105 --> 00:16:46,173 What? 421 00:16:46,273 --> 00:16:47,707 Don't be ridiculous. 422 00:16:47,807 --> 00:16:48,875 We loved that painting. 423 00:16:48,975 --> 00:16:49,776 It was one of the-- 424 00:16:49,876 --> 00:16:50,810 An abomination. 425 00:16:50,910 --> 00:16:51,711 Admit it. 426 00:16:51,811 --> 00:16:54,247 Hell, I'll admit it. 427 00:16:54,347 --> 00:16:56,749 I don't think we have anything to discuss here, Phil. 428 00:16:56,849 --> 00:16:57,884 It's in the basement, isn't it? 429 00:16:57,984 --> 00:16:58,918 What? 430 00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:00,620 That's where you keep all the stolen 431 00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:04,757 items, because you wouldn't take them out during the day. 432 00:17:04,857 --> 00:17:06,526 I think you've been of the sun too long. 433 00:17:06,626 --> 00:17:07,560 Have I? 434 00:17:07,660 --> 00:17:09,896 Stop! 435 00:17:09,996 --> 00:17:12,765 God! 436 00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:14,434 What you want, Phil? 437 00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:16,569 Because of you and your asinine scheme, 438 00:17:16,669 --> 00:17:18,971 Tara thinks thieves fell in love with her painting. 439 00:17:21,941 --> 00:17:23,743 Magnifico! 440 00:17:23,843 --> 00:17:25,078 She thinks the thieves were Italian? 441 00:17:25,178 --> 00:17:27,614 The point is, she thinks somebody 442 00:17:27,714 --> 00:17:29,149 actually wanted that painting. 443 00:17:29,249 --> 00:17:30,783 Which only fueled the fire. 444 00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:33,920 Now she's taken over my garage, my sanctuary. 445 00:17:34,020 --> 00:17:34,921 So, what you want from me? 446 00:17:35,021 --> 00:17:36,623 I want you to break into our garage, 447 00:17:36,723 --> 00:17:38,591 and steal all her painting supplies. 448 00:17:38,691 --> 00:17:39,826 Are you out of your mind? 449 00:17:39,926 --> 00:17:41,027 I'm a judge! 450 00:17:41,128 --> 00:17:43,163 Do you know what her next project is going to be? 451 00:17:43,263 --> 00:17:44,397 Another portrait for you. 452 00:17:44,497 --> 00:17:46,366 Only this one is going to make the last one 453 00:17:46,466 --> 00:17:47,600 look like a postage stamp. 454 00:17:55,475 --> 00:17:57,177 He doesn't really act like a serial killer. 455 00:17:57,277 --> 00:17:58,311 No. 456 00:17:58,411 --> 00:18:00,079 Professional clowns are trained in deception. 457 00:18:03,450 --> 00:18:04,651 You got it! 458 00:18:04,751 --> 00:18:05,818 Thank you. 459 00:18:05,918 --> 00:18:08,155 Please tell me both disks are inside the case. 460 00:18:08,255 --> 00:18:09,289 "Oh Golden Pond," and our film. 461 00:18:09,389 --> 00:18:10,390 Yes! 462 00:18:10,490 --> 00:18:12,859 He said, second disk is especially good. 463 00:18:12,959 --> 00:18:13,893 He loves the Lips. 464 00:18:13,993 --> 00:18:14,794 What? 465 00:18:14,894 --> 00:18:17,864 The Flaming Lips. 466 00:18:17,964 --> 00:18:21,000 I burnt a Flaming Lips concert the same day I burnt our movie. 467 00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:22,702 Oh. 468 00:18:22,802 --> 00:18:24,103 It was for your dad. 469 00:18:24,204 --> 00:18:25,872 My dad has our movie? 470 00:18:25,972 --> 00:18:26,773 What movie? 471 00:18:26,873 --> 00:18:28,508 BOTH: Petunia Pig! 472 00:18:28,608 --> 00:18:29,942 Oh, I don't know, Phil. 473 00:18:30,042 --> 00:18:30,877 I mean, come on. 474 00:18:30,977 --> 00:18:32,612 Even if we steal her supplies, she 475 00:18:32,712 --> 00:18:33,746 is just going to buy new ones. 476 00:18:33,846 --> 00:18:34,714 Maybe. 477 00:18:34,814 --> 00:18:36,082 But it'll set her back. 478 00:18:36,183 --> 00:18:38,451 And by then, I'll be able to steer her into something else. 479 00:18:38,551 --> 00:18:39,619 Maybe oncoming traffic. 480 00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:43,423 Fine. 481 00:18:43,523 --> 00:18:47,894 BEN (VOICEOVER): And so, a pact was made. 482 00:18:47,994 --> 00:18:51,164 Unlike the man himself, Phil's plan was surprisingly elegant. 483 00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:58,738 While Phil created an alibi for himself, 484 00:18:58,838 --> 00:19:02,342 I entered the garage and removed Tara's paints and brushes. 485 00:19:05,378 --> 00:19:07,514 We also took the opportunity to remove the stolen 486 00:19:07,614 --> 00:19:10,250 items from the basement. 487 00:19:10,350 --> 00:19:12,185 It was the perfect plan. 488 00:19:12,285 --> 00:19:14,053 But I made one mistake. 489 00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:17,224 I forgot to turn the alarm back on. 490 00:19:17,324 --> 00:19:20,427 JESSIE: My dad keeps everything in here. 491 00:19:20,527 --> 00:19:21,961 Do you know the code? 492 00:19:22,061 --> 00:19:23,730 Mom always uses the Mayan creation date. 493 00:19:23,830 --> 00:19:25,232 It's so obvious. 494 00:19:30,803 --> 00:19:33,206 [alarm blaring] 495 00:19:37,277 --> 00:19:40,680 My paintings! 496 00:19:40,780 --> 00:19:42,649 Phil! 497 00:19:42,749 --> 00:19:45,885 OFFICER: Car 941, all clear, no need for backup. 498 00:19:45,985 --> 00:19:48,455 It's a domestic, it's under control. 499 00:19:48,555 --> 00:19:49,422 Oh boy. 500 00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:51,391 [radio chatter] 501 00:19:58,431 --> 00:20:03,169 I take it that was the painting in question? 502 00:20:03,270 --> 00:20:04,203 That would be it. 503 00:20:04,304 --> 00:20:06,005 Yes. 504 00:20:06,105 --> 00:20:07,874 Huh. 505 00:20:07,974 --> 00:20:09,976 Well, you leave me no choice. 506 00:20:15,782 --> 00:20:18,217 I'm at a crossroads here, people. 507 00:20:18,318 --> 00:20:21,521 This little fracas of yours has got the potential 508 00:20:21,621 --> 00:20:25,725 of creating more paperwork than an actual murder investigation. 509 00:20:25,825 --> 00:20:29,529 And all because you couldn't be honest with each other. 510 00:20:32,231 --> 00:20:34,501 This is the part where people recognize the error 511 00:20:34,601 --> 00:20:36,303 of their ways, and apologize. 512 00:20:39,138 --> 00:20:41,808 Oh, for crying-- everyone, turn to the person 513 00:20:41,908 --> 00:20:43,410 to his or her right, and say they're sorry. 514 00:20:43,510 --> 00:20:44,544 I'm sorry. 515 00:20:44,644 --> 00:20:46,713 For what it's worth, I actually am sorry. 516 00:20:46,813 --> 00:20:48,080 I'm sorry, too. 517 00:20:48,180 --> 00:20:49,382 Let's never do that again. 518 00:20:49,482 --> 00:20:52,151 I'm just glad we found the disk before your dad it. 519 00:20:52,251 --> 00:20:53,820 And it's in your capable hands. 520 00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:55,187 I thought you took it! 521 00:20:55,288 --> 00:20:57,089 You're kidding, right? 522 00:20:57,189 --> 00:20:59,592 I-- I'm sorry, too. 523 00:20:59,692 --> 00:21:02,795 I sent your disk to my village. 524 00:21:02,895 --> 00:21:05,598 They love Petunia Pig. 525 00:21:05,698 --> 00:21:08,034 What are you all waiting for? 526 00:21:08,134 --> 00:21:08,935 Go home! 527 00:21:09,035 --> 00:21:11,571 Thank you, good night. 528 00:21:11,671 --> 00:21:13,773 Excuse me, where is the washroom? 529 00:21:13,873 --> 00:21:15,007 Where is your passport? 530 00:21:15,107 --> 00:21:16,008 I go this way. 531 00:21:20,079 --> 00:21:24,551 TARA: So It's even better than the first one. 532 00:21:24,651 --> 00:21:27,820 And of course, much, much, bigger. 533 00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:28,988 Hope you like it, Ben. 534 00:21:33,593 --> 00:21:35,294 [rock music] 535 00:21:49,175 --> 00:21:51,177 THEME MUSIC: You don't like the noise I'm making. 536 00:21:53,980 --> 00:21:58,385 Say I don't care, but I do. 537 00:21:58,485 --> 00:22:00,186 I'm not afraid by it. 538 00:22:00,286 --> 00:22:02,889 I won't be shamed by it. 539 00:22:02,989 --> 00:22:06,826 I see it all better than you. 540 00:22:06,876 --> 00:22:11,426 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0